Gallup.

So my father, whom I believe is oblivious to the way the job market operates post-1975, told me to apply for Gallup because the benefits are good and the people that work there love their jobs and blah blah hurrr blah. I threw him a bone, and applied online for some vague position aimed at college grads.

I just had to answer 180(!) of questions online like this:

I ENJOY MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD.-----------------------I ENJOY PAIN.
(Strongly) -------------------Neutral-------------------(Strongly)

Since I figured out quickly that it was the same four questions repeated, perhaps I'll have a shot.

I should stop exploiting the Coffee House's free WiFi now.

Chelsea vs. DC United tonight on ESPN2.