I'm going to hell for laughing at this, part 2929420

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/5713869/detail.html

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Man Killed In Wood Chipper Identified
Brian Morse Owned Brian's Tree Service

LOVELAND, Colo. -- The man who was pulled into a commercial wood chipper and killed was identified Thursday as the owner of a tree trimming service.

The coroner said Brian Ganiard Morse, 54, was killed instantly Wednesday afternoon when his hand got caught and he was somehow pulled into the machine.

Morse was identified using fingerprints.

The Larimer County Coroner ruled the death accidental and said Morse's cause of death was "total morselization of body due to being pulled by a gloved hand into a commercial wood chipper."

Morse owned Brian's Tree Trimming and Removal Service in Loveland.

Police said there are no indications that alcohol or drugs were factors in the accident and the results of toxicology tests are pending. There are no indications of suspicious circumstances or foul play, investigators said.

Morse's partner saw what happened from the hydraulic bucket where he was cutting branches. He got down and ran to the house where they were working to ask for help. The woman inside called 911 for help, but Morse was pronounced dead at the scene.
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1) "Morselization" is my new favorite word

2) His name was Brian Morse. He was "MORSElized"

...Wow.

Yikes

I was at Walgreens yesterday. They already had Cadbury Cream Eggs out by the register.

Absurdity Ahoy!

Sarah Lenore Schroeder, bless her heart, sent me a birthday card with this picture pasted on it. It appears as though I've been bested in the realm of completely random humor.

In other news, as I type this I'm losing my Chimey Ale virginity. Those Belgian Trappist monks make some fine beer.

I hate Brazilian soccer

Congratulations to Ronaldinho, FIFA's Footballer of the Year, and the ugliest son of a bitch on the planet.

America, America, THIS IS YOU

Does anyone else find the suits Bob Saget wore on 'America's Funniest Home Videos' somewhat comforting?

Ok, so the above picture is not a great example, but think back to the early 90s. There was something almost cozy about those blazers.

Mitsubishi Eclipse 6/14/00 - 12/9/05

Long story short: Got into an ice-related accident last night; the back passenger side of my car was annihilated. Legally my fault (failing to yield on a left turn); the woman who hit me - one of Emily's former professors and a very nice woman - was trying to stop for the light but caught the ice. She was totally fine; I am too aside from a nice bump on my head and a cut hand in a few places.

Either way, looks like my insurance is going to be on the rise. Hopefully the fact that whatever car I end up buying won't be a "sports" car will offset it some though.

But the Eclipse is no more. Obviously I have my priorities in the right places, but I still won't miss that car much.

Why couldn't we have played Saudi Arabia?

The World Cup is the only time I ever get patriotic. They just did the draws for next years groups, and...

Italy
Czech Republic
Ghana
USA

It's going to be a bitch for the US to get out of that group. Plus, I have to root against my distant relatives (haha)

Oh well. The Cup doesn't start until June; maybe the Black Death will strike again before that

Why couldn't we have played Iowa?

One downside to the Nebraska-Michigan Alamo Bowl match-up (aside from three weeks of people assuming that UM will kill us): I won't be able to shout "WOLVERINES!" a la Red Dawn

Oh shit

I just realized an uncanny resemblence between the picture below and my current profile.

Fortunately, I can't find anything to stab myself with within reach

Thanks Liz, that was a fine waste of 45 minutes

The Boy Next Door Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm) Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: Maaland1242

ahahahAHAHAHAHAHA

'Out Of Control' Scott Stapp Incites Melee With 311 At Baltimore Hotel

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1517207/12012005/id_0.jhtml?headlines=true

As someone on the Something Awful forums pointed out, perhaps it was really a battle over who was more irrelevant.

Well there you have it.

News Link offered me a job writing for various newsletters. I took it.

Now that I'm not trying to "escape" Lincoln, I suppose the purpose of this blog must change as well.

Or maybe just the template.